This ONE TEXT sent me into crying, then lack of sleep, then taking something for sleep, then dreaming about him coming back and me sleeping with him and then him going dark and depressed again and then him telling me "I've actually been on medicine for the past year and a half" and me saying "oh my god, that coincides with when you started to make these terrible decisions to bail on the marriage and have an affair", and then him saying "I know but I'm not going to explore that." I mean this all comes from ONE TEXT from him, mainly because I am imagining what happens if I respond.
Antonia,
Above is the reason that you wanted to stop contact, isn't it?
Because it is better for you.
Everything that has happened, the letters back and forth, his sharing of his thoughts, they are still all part of MLC.
My H, when we finally agreed to D, actually asked me not to tell everyone that he is horrible. That is how he feels about what he has done, although he will not change it. He still can't see that I would never do that. I have gotten to a place where I don't have anger toward him about it.
And he has a hard time understanding why I don't have too much contact with him. It is better for me not to. He will call sometimes and just say not much of anything. And then hang up. He is one of the ones who thinks we can be friends as well.
For me, we can be friendly, but friends, just isn't in my plan.
Now I am in a great place. I am happy, have become exactly who I was meant to be (fyi, in many ways more like I was before I met H). It is ok to not respond. If that is what is best for you.
If the time comes when he wants to reconcile, you will know it. You will hear what you need to from him. In the meantime, continue on the path that works for you.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
