I want to purpose something to you, and you think about it, okay? If June is the deadline, why not approach your W and say something along these lines:
"I realize that I'm not going to change your mind about getting D. Since we don't have much time left together, what do you think about us stopping the C sessions, and just relax and stop being each other's worst nightmare. We have just a little over 4 months left, so why don't we make the most of the time we have left? No strings attached, no pressures, no tricks, no games, no expectations, and no sex.......just friends. Let's go out with a bag of a good time!"
Scared, I believe this could be your biggest opportunity, but she will want to know if you will stop fighting her about the D, and you will have to agree to let her go in June....or what I've purposed is worthless.
Look at it this way, you've already lost her. The M is dead. Everything you try, she thinks it is a trick, so she isn't trusting you. She has her guard up. But if she thought you would stop with the games and give her a D in June, then she would let her guard down. You could use that time to be the man you were when she fell in love with you. She has to open her heart just a little bit.
When the pressure is let off both of you, then you will be able to be more playful and not be so serious and down all the time. Maybe it sounds crazy....but really and truly....it is the LRT.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I want to purpose something to you, and you think about it, okay? If June is the deadline, why not approach your W and say something along these lines:
"I realize that I'm not going to change your mind about getting D. Since we don't have much time left together, what do you think about us stopping the C sessions, and just relax and stop being each other's worst nightmare. We have just a little over 4 months left, so why don't we make the most of the time we have left? No strings attached, no pressures, no tricks, no games, no expectations, and no sex.......just friends. Let's go out with a bag of a good time!"
Scared, I believe this could be your biggest opportunity, but she will want to know if you will stop fighting her about the D, and you will have to agree to let her go in June....or what I've purposed is worthless.
Look at it this way, you've already lost her. The M is dead. Everything you try, she thinks it is a trick, so she isn't trusting you. She has her guard up. But if she thought you would stop with the games and give her a D in June, then she would let her guard down. You could use that time to be the man you were when she fell in love with you. She has to open her heart just a little bit.
When the pressure is let off both of you, then you will be able to be more playful and not be so serious and down all the time. Maybe it sounds crazy....but really and truly....it is the LRT.
What is LRT?
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Sandi2, Should I write this down in an email or should I try to memorize this and say it to her face?
Also what is LRT
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
No, I never got the book, but I have been all over the forum....
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Sandi2, Should I write this down in an email or should I try to memorize this and say it to her face?
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
You have to be careful giving the suggestion that there is another person involved. If someone suggests that THEY suspect there is someone else, that is a different story. You can help them work through it. It can be dangerous advice to suggest that there is an affair going on.
Scared--I THINK sandi is suggesting that if your wife is ready to leave she may have it in her mind that she is dreaming of another lifestyle in the future, not that she is making a plan with someone.
Man you have a great opportunity here. You have been given a warning order. You have till June to save your M. Half of us would of loved to have that chance. Order the book right away and read it TWICE! I think Sandi's suggestion is very good. You have 4 months, go out in style and enjoy it. No expectations is my new motto.
I wish we could exchange personal info I would mail you the book. I have two copies!
What has worked so far? Remember test and verify when it works great when it does change the tactic.
I am going through this whole thing myself and my situation is pretty much done, I think, but you have a great chance here. 4 months!!!
