Detachment issues

[AntoniaB]

So it has been 10 days since I said "I love you so I have to let you go" in that letter, and since then, 2 bits of contact from him, first the check with the personal note in the memo, and now last night, a text message, "Is Baby T still doing well?" Again with her cute nickname.

I realize that it may be that he only wants to know about the cat, but he also knows that I have always contacted him first if anything was even a little off with any of them. This text came at the same time most others do--Monday night just before 7pm. This is him trying to start a conversation.

This ONE TEXT sent me into crying, then lack of sleep, then taking something for sleep, then dreaming about him coming back and me sleeping with him and then him going dark and depressed again and then him telling me "I've actually been on medicine for the past year and a half" and me saying "oh my god, that coincides with when you started to make these terrible decisions to bail on the marriage and have an affair", and then him saying "I know but I'm not going to explore that." I mean this all comes from ONE TEXT from him, mainly because I am imagining what happens if I respond.

If I respond and say "she's fine" he is 99.9% likely to write back "how are you" or "I hope you're doing well", and adding "if you need anything let me know." This is our pattern. He asks about a cat, I respond, and then it continues and he gets a chance to play good guy again offering help. If I hadn't seen this play out so many times I wouldn't be so sure it's what will happen.

So I haven't responded yet. I just don't want to. I feel bad for not responding. I feel like I'm being mean. But he just isn't getting it. I love him so deeply that he has got to be out of my life for good. It just opens up everything to "hear" him in a few words on a text message. It sends me right back into rehashing everything that happened.

So do you think I should just ignore the text?