I'm sorry that you anxious about this. I see you have been given really great advice on your other threads. It's easier for folks to follow you if you stick to one thread.
Like sandi2 said--you are already discussing your marriage every week. You have had 18-21 years of as you describe, not treating her well. I know you have this June 'deadline' but you haven't been doing this long enough for her to see and believe real changes. Expect a month for every year of marriage. It might not take that long, but just expect that.
When she is talking just listen, she already knows you don't want the marriage to end, you don't need to state that. If you are asked, state your opinion briefly.
Don't go for the hugs etc, to her they feel selfish on your part. Question 4: Don't ask it. You will not like the answer. She gave you 18 years of a real chance. Show her.
Read everything about REAL GIVING. Treat her the way she wants to be treated, it's not necessarily about housework. It's not just about getting her a drink when you're getting one for yourself. Those things might be included, but it's about understanding HER definition of love, and treating her in that way.
What is your understanding of her definition of love?
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
