Australia part two

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Julia, sorry you are having wobbles. What strikes me about your posts (and all your Joe posts in fact) is... its not you, its him.

It worries me more that you cant see that!!! We do get stuck in patterns of the type of men we attract/date, believe me I did. Just because someone says hurtful/abusive things and slightly keeps you in a paranoid, gotta try harder state of mind becuase they flit in and out, blow slightly hot and cold, doesnt mean that YOU are boring, that YOU need to work on anything, or that there is something wrong with YOU.

The person who is at fault here .. is Joe. He doesnt have money for this and that so he expects some girl he is randomly dating in another town to sort it out for him??? Or allows her to. Kinda childish hey. And.. he borrows your phone charger (a valuable commodity at any time, but especially when you are miles from home).. and then he DIDNT TURN UP TO MEET YOU to give it back?? And didnt call or text to say he was going to be late/not there/apoligise and even had a dead battery when you called him? How disrespectful! Is that how you would treat someone?

These things arent acceptable.

I think your self esteem may be slightly off because you keep making excuses and justifications for this guy, who clearly isnt a keeper.

And as for..."'see, Julia isn't so boring after all, I really enjoyed your stories and you made me laugh, I'm starting to learn more about you'. The problem is he said the words that I had been dreading - that I was boring. I am sure he didn't mean them in the actual sense of I was boring after all he wouldn't have wanted to spend Christmas with me and come down to Melbourne with me and talk about doing farm work with me if that was the case."

...well, you sure about that? Maybe he was at a loose end. Maybe hes a user. Maybe he just doesnt know how to treat people. His comment is arrogant and frankly cruel and a way to keep you in your place.. trying to impress him. Hey I'm no pyschologist, but I once was seeing a guy just like this, he could be so charming and would chase me, then come out with a comment like that, which crushed me and my view of myself and made me unsure of myself.. around him.

I never met anyone before or since which I had such mind blowing chemistry with, but so what, wow its a relief he's no longer in my life making me doubt myself. Since then, I only surround myself with people who love and respect me, not undermine me. Hey it takes all sorts to make a world and one persons view of boring is not anothers, so what? You're you and you need to find your 'tribe' who get you for who you are.

If I were you hun... I would run for the hills from this guy. You deserve better.

Al xxx