I have done everything wrong....

[islander]

Instead of coming over in the morning to talk about bills, W texted me tonight and asked me if I wanted to got to my MIL and have dinner with her. I was hesitant to say the least but I figured I would go and be the best that I could be, and my SD was there and I really wanted to see her.

I was there for 20 min and left without eating. W got mad at her mom, then she was mad at me and stated she comment afford to pay very much for the bills at our house. I disagreed with her, and when she started to become argumentative and hurtful, I got up and left (as I was about to become visibly upset and did not want her to see).

I went home and did not hear from her. I am ok. I feel I did a good job tonight controlling myself. I will wake up hurting in the morning though.

MIL and SD brought dinner to my house, which also made me feel better. I really miss my W and want her and my SD back home with me. This is so hard and the uncertainty of the future kills me at times.

I went grocery shopping for myself for the first time, and I wanted so bad to leave my cart in the isle and run out of walmart bc I was so depressed.