18 Years of Marriage - Leaving in June

[Scared2Def]

I was told I stepped backwards on that one

Who told you, your W?

No, fellow poster Habit.....

[Scared2Def]

My wife says she does not want another relationship. She just wants to be on her own. I guess she thinks working and the kids going to school and coming home alone is ok? Weird to me because if she would just accept me and my changes this could all be ok. I understand she does not trust that I will adhere to my changes but she seems un willing to want to give me one more try. I understand that too but for our kids I would think anything would be worth the effort. Right now she is only thinking of herself.

What to do next?

[habitacker]

S2D, it wasn't so much the asking your W out that was your backslide. It was your actions after she turned you down.

[Scared2Def]

Habit, thanks you sir are correct and thanks for the clarification.

Well that being said, so far this evening has been ok. Wife actually made chili and cornbread. Not sure if it was for me or not. She know how much I love chili and cornbread on cold days.

Man it sure is hard sitting around waiting for a sign. Man!

My goal tonight is to just lay low and enjoy my time with her and the kids!

[habitacker]

Try not hunting for those signs so much. I am being a hypocrite just telling you that.

I did this once. Try puting a smile on that doesn't look fake, like you know something she doesn't, or that you just have something funny on your mind. See if she notices or says anything. If she does, just pretend like you didn't know you were doing it.

There really is no purpose to this, it's just a game. It is just better than sitting around waiting for something to happen. Don't make it into anything more than that.

[habitacker]

Try not hunting for those signs so much. I am being a hypocrite just telling you that.

I did this once. Try puting a smile on that doesn't look fake, like you know something she doesn't, or that you just have something funny on your mind. See if she notices or says anything. If she does, just pretend like you didn't know you were doing it.

There really is no purpose to this, it's just a game. It is just better than sitting around waiting for something to happen. Don't make it into anything more than that.

[sandi2]

My wife says she does not want another relationship. She just wants to be on her own.

Ha! Don't believe that for a minute!

[Bolt]

s2d - been following your sitch and man, it mirrors mine to a T. It's amazing how we all end up like this. I wish there was a manual you could get the day you get married

Let me ask you, do you find yourself perplexed when you want to change into the man your W wants but need to detach?

Sandi2, what is the woman's perspective on that? It seems logical (I know..) that the W would want this new man - caring, thoughtful, respectful, kind - but it seems that we can't show those qualities because it would be pursuing...

catch 22 or is this strictly from a guy's perspective?

[Scared2Def]

My wife says she does not want another relationship. She just wants to be on her own.

Ha! Don't believe that for a minute!

What does that mean Sandi2? Should I now think there is another man?

[Scared2Def]

I hate to think or say this but if there is another man, I can still only worry about me. I cannot control her actions or feelings. Just continue to do what you need to do. I am learning that as long as I try to enjoy my time each day with the kids when I get home, my evening goes better.

Of course I want to discuss our Relationship every given opportunity but she does not want to hear the pleas. I just need to keep doing what keeps me happy in these horrible times, that is enjoy my kids! And enjoy seeing her face in my house. At least I can still see her each day.