Australia part two

[sgctxok]

Just pull back a little. Let him do for you on his level. He'll come back around. He might be feeling a bit insecure too.

I started having panic attacks after my divorce. I spent a few years fairly poor since I was going back to school, and I attributed the panic attacks--and depression--to that chaos. This was all pre-DB. But it would especially hit me waiting in line someplace. It was like I couldn't handle waiting in line at McDonalds. Even if it was a fairly short line. I'd sweat, I'd feel like I was having a heart attach, I'd get dizzy. Or just sort of freeze up. I think lots of things can cause it like getting pre-menopausal, but the stress doesn't help.

It's funny how divorce doesn't really change our relationship problems. We still have our issues.

But you get to build a R and now you have a manual. And that's wonderful. You're going to go through stuff, and some of it is going to feel way too familiar and some of it brand new....but you get to DB it from the ground up. It's kind of like you're really DBing yourself--because you are teaching yourself skills. That's what DBing really is. And you are empowered. And more loving. And you will probably teach your new partner some skills. It won't be too long and it will get fun.


So--your AS IF attitude is what you need to focus on. But use your KLA tape and listen to that part again.

"I feel anxious when I am with him as I am scared he will think I am boring and this makes me guarded and inhibited. When I leave him I analyse my behaviour and worry that he will not contact me again. "

What if you were sure that you were so much fun. And you knew he thought you were so much fun? How would you behave? What was it like when you were just having a blast? Get a good strong memory of that. What was going on?

The next time you're going to see him, just put yourself in that place again. You know you can be fun. So be fun. Have a good time.