Thanks all, I am just determined not to let things happen TO me, which I feel has happened too often. I'm trying to figure out which direction I need to go to get me unstuck and feel truly in command of my future. Many financial and career decisions have been put off waiting on her. I realize I need to move forward as though she is not here - which she isn't.
Exactly.
Originally Posted By: CNS
I am sensitive to this because if I had recognized the problems in my M, then they would not be suffering now.
This is guilt and while a little bit is healthy, a ton of it can make you a bad parent in the long run. Yes things could probably been better if you had recognized some things earlier, however, you could not have stopped her MLC.
Guilt has a funny way of affecting how effective we are as parents. It makes up want to be more of a "friend" to our kids sometimes. Please be careful with this.
Originally Posted By: CNS
I responded to all this saying things could be whatever we choose. She said any changes I made for her wouldn't last. I said I was not trying to change FOR her.
You did really good up to this point. This was probably seen as pursuing.
CNS, have some patience with yourself and step back and maybe take a breath or two and count to ten before you do anything or say anything with your W. Just think before you speak or act. That will help. It usually works for me. And it keeps me from biting my tongue off LOL.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
