Then something strange - she broke up when she responded to my assertion that I'd learned a lot. She cried a bit saying 'someone else will benefit' from lessons learned in our M.
I responded to all this saying things could be whatever we choose. She said any changes I made for her wouldn't last. I said I was not trying to change FOR her.
Crushed, Here we go again. I could swear that you and your wife taped
a conversation my W and I had about 6 months ago and both of
you are now saying those same words.
Don't I get like some copyright credits or kickbacks?
The Point here is again MLC speak. I keep trying to tell you
that this gets worse before it gets better in most cases I have
read about and my own experience as well.
I see Mach and Missher are trying to tell you something. I don't
believe you are listening to all of it.
Quote:
She did say it was time for me to do something about the house. She argued that she did everything in the M. I let her rage and tried to acknowledge her feelings. She said she lost all hope - that I had not changed at all during the last 16 months. I think I did a great job of dropping the rope and letting her go on. She said she's done. I said fine, we can take the government-required kid/divorce class and move on.
You know, this stuff up here ^^^^^^, tells me you still don't
seem to get this. I really don't give out 2x4's. If you tell her
you want to move on, you may just get what you want. Is that
what you want?
I am having a tough time figuring out what it is you want.
If it was me, and its not, cause I did not get the chance that
you don't even realize you have, I would let her do all the work.
Everything.
She has to track down a lawyer.
Come up with money for a retainer.
Sign up for the f'ing class.
Have you served papers.
That is just the beginning.
Oh, I know this chit is hard.
That is why most either quit or don't
even figure half of this chit out.
You have got some of the DREAM TEAM of life
lessons giving you some insight and I am not talking
about me.
There is much to learn and I get this feeling that you
are not wanting to go through the pain. I don't blame you
for that but WTH do you have to lose?
If you could answer that for yourself, not for me or any of
us, you might get a glimpse of where you might be heading.
Are you really prepared to hack on this for a few years or not?
At the very least you will grow within. Taking the easy way out
is what everyone else does.
You have already separated yourself from the masses by coming
here.
What is the point if you don't keep on learning along the way.
The detaching thing is tough, I will admit that. I still get
sucked in to the madness way to quick. BUT the best thing
that I have realized is that the MLC'r is in a place where emotion
rules over logic so you can't F'ing win. So as Eric liked to
tell me and others, you have to partake of the STFU koolaid.
I think it would have helped you in that last conversation with
her and there will be more conversations like that to come.
It is how you CHOOSE to handle that conversation that will pay
you the biggest benefit and you may not see this until days,
