On the flip side, I once again reminded her that at some point this week, she will surrender her engagement ring, wedding band and anniversary band. Then things turned. She got kind of upset like a wounded child. She began figiting with her hands and looking at the floor. Her chin kind of began to quiver and she asked me why she had to give them up. I told her that I paid for them, you are no longer wearing them and they are still worth some monitary value despite the fact that all sentimental value is gone. She asked me what I planned to do with them. I explained to her that I know a guy who is in really, really bad financial straights and can't get credit right now and that I am going to sell the rings to him for his wedding. He is getting cash from his father to pay me. I went on to explain that I will then use the money to purchase this rifle that I have been wanting for some time but would never buy because she hated guns. She really looked hurt and frankly, at that point, I didn't care. She started stuttering about with her words and pretty much began begging me to let her hang on to them a bit longer. She wanted to know why I was in such a rush to do this. I explained that she informed me it was over and I was doing what was necessary to begin my healing process as it is now time to take care of me. She began to plead with me to let her keep them a bit longer. I relented. ... I think her thoughts and actions might have betrayed her a bit there. She continues to protest politely that we are through. Yet, the thoughts of her rings being gone seemed to scare the sh*t out of her. Why? Does she think she will wear them again some day? Hmmm? This did set me to thinking. Between us here, this is all a farce. I have no buyer for the rings and I can afford the rifle without the money. But, I wanted to test her to see what is really going on in her head. I have now had this discussion with her about the rings three times and it always goes the same way. She gets upset and pleads to keep them a bit longer. She knows once they are gone, they will be lost forever and I think that scares her. A good sign, maybe? I know it is wrong to mess with her like this, but if this is the worst thing I do, I think I am justified for now. I am, by the way, not the one that walked out on a 15 year R like I was leaving the grocery store. ...... FOBD
FOBD
Your wife has pulled some 'acts of war' but so is this crap with the rings in the eyes and heart of a woman. It's an act of war. The fact that she cares and the fact that you feel cold about it are not good signs. The way you want to test this is not going to serve you well. You say you feel justified, and I completely understand that--these are just acts of war, or pi..ing matches. They do not have a good conclusion. Work differently and you can be really successful.
