In answer to your most immediate question--No one has an absolute answer--just pick one! LRT or ask the question. It isn't magic. It isn't one answer for the universe, it's what works for YOU. My first thought, since you had him leave is to do the LRT.
If you can't, do as your counselor suggests. If it works, great, if it doesn't, go dark, and I mean pitch black and work through the DR process. But don't try to do both at the same time.
If you pick a weekend -- many folks here have tried Retrouvaille. I know very little about it, but I know it was started in the Catholic Church, and has some of the same dynamics as Marriage Encounter, and Engaged Encounter, which I knew well.
Let us know what you choose so we can support you either way.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
