So don't be stuck. Stop cornering him (or yourself) into ultimatums and choices between feeling deep shame, and "living a lie". There are other options for goodness sake. And you have inner work to do which Cyrena articulated beautifully. ( Please don't keep on ignoring good advice, or the possible issues about your h's health).
And last but not least, involve as FEW people in this as possible. It's part of "keeping the road home paved and smooth" which you claim to want to do. Sure, if you know you want a divorce, you can make that happen by blabbing away to any and all people, like HIS male friends... and be seen as a vindictive, indiscreet "ex" wife...OR, you could give the man and the former marriage, a chance to resurface.
Regardless, your victimhood routine, and the kneejerk leaps and marital revisions need to stop now, in order for you to get anywhere in life, with or without him.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
