just some thoughts from B

[handlingplanb]

In the beginning of all this my H justified his need to leave because he viewed our marriage as "C" level - which by most standards is average. Hard to not try to point out that that meant there had to be some "A" stuff mixed in-----and I tried. Did no good.

When pointing out all that he felt that he had given and what he had given up he said he would find it hard to beleive that I felt like I gave up anything. I did. I gave up a lot. I gave and gave and gave - for him, for our marriage and our family. What it left me was a 40 something year old woman who didn't know she was supposed to make HERSELF happy (or how to do it). Now I know and am working it out.

My H is moving on. Becoming more distant from me (only). He bought his own house (+40 acres) in October. He learned last week that if you leave for 4 days in the winter the pipes will freeze. He seems to have more anger towards me, for no apparent reason. I think he's finding that even with the $.5 million house he's not happy, but I might be making that up. Could be that, and could be that his anger is building because I still have not filed for divorce like he wants me to do.

MLC? I don't know anymore. ALIEN invasion? I think so. I've been at this for 3 years now. 30 years together. I'm finally getting to the point that I think I can admit that my M is dead. I don't know that I know him anymore.

Rambling - and sorry, B. I just had to add some of my own wacky wasband-isms.