I'm not sure what you are looking for right now....
I see you starting to get defensive, and scoffing at DB ( since what your DB coach told you did not meet your desired immediate goal )
I'm not sure you are fully understanding what MLC is, or how long it can take for him to move through this...
I'm not here to convince you to stick with DBing..
It's not my place to try and convince you to stay married...
What I AM here for...Is to try and help you understand that where you are right now....is not permanent by any means.
To try and help you understand that MLC does things to the human mind that are un-explainable to the sound of mind...
To try and help you understand, that what your husband spews at you, are his truths right now...not yours.
That your truths are what are inside of you....
That 27 years of marriage is worth taking your time and seeing what the future holds, and is not something to be taken as lightly as "just finding someone else "
That sometimes....just being still and watching can be just as effective in your own healing, than anything else.
That whatever you decide to do.....comes from a place of love and understanding instead of anger toward your husband.
I see a lot of good people posting to you, and you rebuking a lot of what they are saying to you....
MLC takes some pretty thick skin to weather.....and if they can get under you, then your husband is gonna do that tenfold...
Nobody here is against you.....please understand that.
I want you to understand that everyone here, has felt the way you are feeling...
Everyone here has heard the things that you have been accused of by your husband. And was equally as angry at hearing them.
And that it is okay to feel those things...it is part of the path of the LBS.....
What could ( or should ) happen, is that you take those things, and you look at them individually, and find how they fit you, at your core.
You look inside and kill the things that don't fit your core person.
You look at them to find out if they are true ? OR are they things that are skewed , so that he can rationalize his actions ?
These are decisions that YOU have to make......
So you have a self admitted five year plan....
What happens in those five years, can change, and sometimes daily..
MLC is one day at a time.....sometimes one hour at a time....sometimes one minute at a time....
In time, if you decide to do the work....you will be thankful for this time in your life.
The time to reflect on who you really want to be in your life...
The time find who you are as an individual instead of being a wife, or a Mother...or anything other than just you.
This will become a gift to you....
And the gift you can give in return....is the same...
