Scylla, thanks for the advice. Canada is no-fault as far as divorce goes though, i think child support and alimony are pretty set (the latter has some leeway). It looks like we will collaborate on the legal agreement. I want to see where that leads but i will talk to a lawyer just in order to retain one for counsel.
W is chomping on the bit to get things going (or her going). Realtor was in friday to smack some sense into W but it wasnt too bad. Luckily the mortgage payout penalty will be manageable. If we get what we think we can get for the house financially we will both be fine. When i calculate child support and alimony it looks like i wont be living in a cardboard box at least.
FIL showed up at house saturday morning and i was surprised, not expecting him. W announced i was taking the kids to lessons and she was going out for the day. No explanation. I had to ask my youngest where mom was going.."out looking at cars i think". What? So she felt she couldnt even inform me at all out of courtesy. Not like its a big financial decision that affects our family income NOW or anything..i mean holy cow. So she goes off (thankfully FIL was with her) and yep, finds a new little car and makes loan app which got approved today. See how that works? Ok, i will give her credit that she made a decent choice but she is banking on selling the house soon, maybe prematurely. She has doing everything officially to separate herself and doing it quickly. It hurts me she is being secretive about certain things and not even letting me know out of courtesy.
We discussed the separation on the weekend and our finances. I know what she expects and it is reasonable. One of the biggest concerns is where my oldest daughter would prefer to stay. It matters in terms of shared custody. DD1 does not want to talk about it and is clearly upset over the whole thing. W and DD1 got into a pissing match saturday evening. W wants the kids to see everything her way and follow her plans. DD1 doesnt want to address it. This will be difficult.
Meanwhile ive been too busy with house stuff to DB and GAL. But i will take time out for the gym next few nights to get away at least for awhile. I feel so detached now emotinally i'm afraid i don't love W anymore nor want to again. Perhaps i'm to the point of no return.
