Is the tide turning???????

[MHL]

Hello GAG and Ladies,

I absolutely love this thread, GAG literally has me on the edge of my seat every week!!!!!

Okay, I know that I suggested a very bold step towards sex and sexual contact etc. I am not suggesting that sex be the main goal here, and when I suggested.......

The next step of intimacy for a man is physical.....He may not be able to open up anymore until there is a physical connection with you again.....

I did not mean to imply that "sex" was necessary in order for him to open up more emotionally......

(however if the opportunity presents itself...... )

What I am saying is that most men if not all men desire "phsical touch" (Love Languages, Gary Chapman). What I think is appropriate is looping her arm into his when walking closely together, touching his arm when he is showing her is ipad, resting her hand on his leg as she gets closer to see what he is pointing too, pressing her body into his when they hug....

Additionally, telling him that she likes for him to touch her.....

THIS IS HUGE.........let me tell you ladies this, we MEN get so many mixed messages when it comes to this area and it is the one area that we crave and NEED the most.

However.....

For the last 30-40 years society has told us to be polite and respect a woman's right to not be an object and treat them as if we are not interested in touching them physically and that we should appreciate them for what they are thinking.

I agree with all this WHOLE HEARTEDLY......

But....

Society has somehow taken the MAN out of being a MAN and also has told us men that it is not okay to desire a WOMAN for being a WOMAN.

MEN today are too damn SCARED to step out and say to a woman "You are a beautiful woman and I am attracted to you".

Somewhere along the way that was not okay to say......now if it is the only thing a man is saying then that is a problem.

Mr. GAG is a NICE GUY......I remember reading early on in GAG's thread that she had to initiate the first kiss.......He is not going to move this thing forward on his own because of his FEAR of offending her.

Nothing has changed here..........either she is going to have to initiate more physical contact and/or she is going to have to communicate that she likes it when she has physical contact with her.

I am not saying sex is the goal here......being more intimate is and that includes PHYSICAL TOUCH.

Now I will tell you that if you start touching Mr. GAG in the ways that I am suggesting or if you REALLY communicate that you like to be "touched" by him.........things will move rapidly......

Once his mind is comfortable and relaxed and he finds himself wanting to be with you either by helping you or emailing, texting, calling....TT matches with prolonged visits to restaurants....You are already on the other side of things. You need to validate XH and MAKE HIM FEEL EMOTIONALLY GOOOOOD!!!!!

His heart will follow.....naturally!!!!

Sexual Intimacy will follow that!!!! It will feel right to him and then he will consider reconciling.

Sorry Sanderika......I am a MAN.....you want to validate ME and make me feel good EMOTIONALLY..........PHYSICAL TOUCH AND SEX.

I cannot say it enough......

MEN need the physical connection in order to form the emotional connection. It communicates to MEN that there is trust there and that it is safe to be vulnerable with WOMEN.

The difference in GAG's sitch is that she is already divorced.....physical contact or sexual contact will not come across as a means to prevent him from leaving her, he is already gone. He has his freedom......she is trying to ATTRACT him back.......

This means that GAG needs to be a WOMAN and attract a MAN.....

Problem is Society has told Men that it is not okay to act like a MAN.

GAG needs to give Mr. GAG "permission" to be a man.

Kind of sux in my opinnion, but that is where this is at.

Hope this helps

Cheers