Also wanted to note, we had a very interesting conversation during our suicidal morning call. Yes, he was in his pit of depression, so I have to keep that in mind & realize that he was in a down emotional state, but he said alot of interesting things. First he said how he couldn't move on past me b/c he lovs me so much, but then changed that and said, no, b/c he respects me so much. "Respects me" - what does that mean??? I'll take it as a compliment, but I don't really understand it. He went back too to how he can't let me go and move on. If he could let me go, then the answer would be easy - divorce. But on the other hand, he can't be with me b/c he still can't get over "that I left him after he gave me everything" (uh what house was he living in?). I couldn't argue at that moment on how his view of the past was completely skewed b/c I didn't want to sink him further in his suicidal hole, but seriously??? He mentioned too how he knows it's not fair to leave me in limbo land either. Obviously, he has to make a decision, but that was defintely not the time to bring it up. I did mention MC too, but b/c that's the last hope, he's afraid to try it and have it fail - b/c then what - he really does lose everything.
In regards to the depression itself, he also said how he's tried everything to feel better: the bad stuff originally - alcohol, drugs, OW's, & now has tried the better stuff - therapy, apnea surgery, meds, but nothing has worked. I can see why he wants to give up, but he just hasn't given it enough time. Meds take time to work, plus, I don't even think he's found the right one for him which takes time in itself. So, I really hope this new med is the right now - it's suppose to help with his depression and ADD, so hopefully that will be the magic mix for him!
K, back to work, but I just wanted to get an update in.
Me 27; H 28; S 2 Togeth 9; M 4 Sep 11/14/08 EA OW1 Sep 08 EA OW2 Mar 09 EA OW3 Jun 10
