Ready to give up

[blue2010]

Well it has been an interesting week. I have mostly stayed backed off in regards to R talk. If something comes up I do not avoid it. I make sure I clarify acknowledge and validate what she is saying. We had very little conflict last week.
Ok so this is the current scenario. It seems as though she is coming out of the "fog". As far as I can tell there has been no futher contact with the OM. She has had some obvious grieving. She is becoming more engaged in the house and with the kids. She is acting less like the alien and more like my wife. I remain cautious. I am still attending a divorcecares class because she does not know where the divorce papers are she filed. (it has been more then 30 days I have not been served I was told at that point they are taken out of the system). She will only say about the house she was trying to purchase that she is ignoring the emails.
I am wondering If part of the turning point was when at the MC I pretty much forced her to directly answer the question if she was done with this M she did she yelled she was. Then we went shopping and she would not look at me and walked behind me. She also needed a formal seperation agreement for her mortgage. She never did that.
Fast foward to the winter storm the morning of the 18th. She is driving home from work. She has a lousy ride. She finally decides she wants a truck. Her money I say OK. Wed was decent, IN the AM alot of why is it suddenly OK I get a new car, she left mad then later called to tell me when she would be at the dealer. Basically invited me to look at a new truck with her she has always wanted a truck. It went well we behaved as friends I had to leave I went back later to drive it she asked me to. We purchased in her name Friday. Ran some errands,all the time it was pleasant like friends between us, some joking no love and affection.
Her tone of voice has lost the constant defensiveness. She is not constantly attatched to her cell phone, even leaves it lying around once in a while although it is locked. She is not ready for transparency she feels it invades privacy.
She wants to LIVE do more especially with the kids. Ironic thing is she always used to say no about going out. This blame is still placed on me right now. I don't go there......yet.
I am being friendly. We have had some R talks. I have made clear that what I want is 100% of her affection not to share her the same as I expected when I asked her to marry me. She started this conversation one night and it continued nicely while she was driving to work about 20min total talk time.
She went out with her sister Saturday, accussed me of sending a friend to spy. I did not. She continues to come up with comments saying like this is my W speaking: " I am worth nothing, I am really nothing special, you can do better, I don't deserve anything, you are going to hate me, you are going to get mad and hold this over me, you can find someone better so why don't you just do it now, I should just go away, the kids won't miss me." Kid comments are fading.
I told her last week I would no longer respond when she makes those comments.
This morning, she started a calm conversation it lead to married parenting and divorced parenting discussion she then said there is more to marriage than parenting. I agreed and left it at that me:"but that decision isn't up to just me" I have expressed to her she is worth it to me so is rebuilding the marriage. She knows the fate of this M is in her hands.

I have not, but want to address well ask if she has had any more cotact with OM. I want to write to her my needs and wants for a better M but I do not think the time is right.

Sorry so long.