Big talk tonight. I am a wreck, need support.

[hope2011]

I had a family emergency on Friday so been off-line. My grandmother was in ICU, they called all the family to the hospital (out of state). My a miracle, she's still with us and out of ICU but it was a rough weekend.

H volunteered to go with me, was by me the whole time. We left the hospital on Saturday (she was stable by then) and even offered to drive me an hour of the way to the cemetery to visit with 2 close relatives that I lost whose birthdays are recent. Then he wanted to see his parents, just 2 hours away so we drove there and stayed overnight. Any time I asked to stop, he did (unusual for him), he held my hand a bit in the car (he reached for me), he asked if I felt like visiting a winery on the way and we did and even had fun. And he started talking about dreams again (he's always wanted a winery) and even the future a bit. We even ML more this past week than the past 6 months. Even given the hospital scare, it was a good weekend. He was 100% supportive, kind, sensitive, thoughtful. He's the guy I fell in love with.

So why am I freaking TERRIFIED right now?