H has a truck he is driving. Truck is paid for but we only bought the van a year ago and it is in his name. I gave him the papers today with other stuff. I have two legs and a heartbeat...I can walk. I refuse to let him get under my skin.
He is trying so hard to make me fight with him and I won't. I have better things to do than fall into his childish temper tantrums. I have spend so much time worring about him and what he wanted that I forgot I was a person too. And yup, I know that is my fault. I will change that.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Wanda, the longer and more intense you can keep this up, the sooner this so-called mother-child cycle can cease. Hopefully your husband will suddenly realize that he's not married to a/his mom, and stop acting out like a kid.
Alamo I am going to keep doing this as much as I can. The worst part is that D7 notices things. She does not understand. I just keep telling her its not her fault and I love her.
So H has not texted me all night. What a surprise. It is Friday after all. I am only a little bitter because in all reality I do not want to hear from this alien that I call my H. Just some mixed feelings there. He did call earlier to talk to D7 and I had answered the phone. he had that "i miss you" tone in his voice. I didn't and couldn't listen to it. I handed the phone to D as soon as I heard him. It just felt weird.
Anyways it has been a quiet night. S11 went snowboarding and had a great time. Watched a movie with S17 and D. S15 was hanging out with girlfriend. The one thing I have really been enjoying since H left is the calmness in the house. Kids are not fighting. I am not walking on eggshells and everyone just seems so much more peaceful. It makes it really hard to want H back. Really mixed emotions today.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
What a gong show this morning. H texted because he was going to pick up kids to go to the farm with him this morning. At least that was what D told me last night. When H texted he asked for snow pants and said he would be here at 10:30. I texted back that I could not find pants and what time are you bringing kids back? He says tonight.
Well S11 and I had plans and D has a play date that she planned and has been waiting all week for it. I talked to kids and they both wanted to stay home. I let H know. He starts texting that | am ruining his day and that I was always good at doing that.
My big text back was "sorry you feel that way" I get back...I am sure you are.
So here is more child-like behaviour from him. I am doing okay with this. He is not my H. He is an alien.
Gonna dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it is forever!
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
About an hour after this he texts that he is coming over. I tell him no. He got mad and told me he was coming over. I just kept saying NO. then he texts that I am preventing him from getting his stuff and keeping his kids from him.
What a baby! He has not shown up, thank goodness. and no other texts. I am sure he is planning his next evil attack....I hope I am prepared for it.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Again with the early morning texts...I think he is doing that because he always hated me sleeping in on the week-ends. What he doesn't know is that without drinking I have no reason to sleep in. Anyways, he wanted to know if I was going to let him see his kids today.
Me: sure. what were you thinking
H: when can i pick them up and when r u going to talk to me about money van and kids
Me: D just got up and S is still sleeping... when do u want to talk....later this week?
H: thought van would be more urgent
Me: what time do you want kids? figured van would be on back burner til finances better
H: not sure how my kids and you are getting food and to work and to school
Me: we are managing. what time for kids?
H: hour to hour and a half...
The texting goes on for a little bit more about kids. Won't tell me if he is bringing them back before or after supper and then texts me when he should have already been here that he is running late.
The whole thing is weird. Not really sure what to do with this. he is not asking to talk about R just basic stuff. I am not sure if I am ready to have a convo with him yet. Is it alright to avoid this for a little while longer????
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
He's trying to upset you. I'm not really understanding why they do this. My H went through this. It was when I stopped reacting the way he wanted or expected that the nonsense stopped. Not sure that will happen with you, but be sure, he's trying to get under your skin.
You can avoid any talk you want for as long as you want. He can't force you to talk.
Something here caught my eye, though, Wanda. "Not sure how my kids and YOU are getting food and to WORK and to school." This does not really sound like someone who is detaching all that well from you. I would expect him to say he was concerned about the kids and school, but he mentions YOU and WORK. Hmmmm....
That was the first time he has made ant reference to my well being. I thought it was a little strange. Other texts today were back to him trying very very hard to get me angry. i didn't bite.
All in all it was a good day.IL's came over this afternoon. My MIL brought me a bunch of goodies. It was nice. When they came in, they both were saying how good I looked and that I have lost weight...We didn't talk to much about the M. They both told me that if I needed anything just to call.
H texed again tonight to let me know that it isn't working where he is staying. His friend and uncle are way to much like living with his mom and dad. He is going to move into our travel trailer. Guess there goes his idea of the kids living with him for two weeks and me two weeks...
This may sound mean, But I could not stop laughing. He has a nice home 5 mins from the beach. Kids that love him, a wife that loves him and he chooses to be miserable. I can not help him. I can only do what is best for me. And I am tired of walking on eggshells. As long as I do not have to see him and talk to him I am okay, and I think I will keep it that way for awhile longer.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Remember, in your own words, you're dealing with an alien. A lot of what they do doesn't make much sense. I'm sure my H feels the same way about me right now. But honestly, I need a ticker to keep up on his mood swings.
Ok, seriously, he's moving into a trailer now? I just don't get it. I think I would be laughing too. These grand plans that these WAS's come up with are pretty funny if you're able to take a step back. But, honestly, YOU CANNOT HELP HIM. He needs to figure this out on his own.
Glad to hear that you've got such a good relationship with the IL's. That really has got to help a lot!!! Be careful with that weight loss, ok? I'm sure you look fantastic, but do your best to stay healthy. You need your strength and you need to stay thinking clearly.
LIS I can actually afford to loose a few pounds so I will be okay. I am not starving myself or anything, I am just keeping my self busy.
So no text from H this morning. I was thinking that maybe he was going to back off for a bit...and then I noticed something. It is snowing like a bugger here and I like to keep on top of the shovelling. So outside I go only to find that yesterday when H was here he took my snow shovel!!!!! I don't know why he has stooped to this level. He does snow removal in the winter and has other shovels. AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
After I stopped fuming, I decided that this was not going to get him the reaction he wants. So I put a bunch of ice melter and sand on my driveway and I will leave it at that. I do not need him to rescue me.
I am going to have a good day inspite his childish behaviour!!!
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
