Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

Not much going on here. I am doing really well and everything is normal.

After H saying how he wants to be more involved, he checked on S one time last week. He went to an outlet mall last monday (I am thinking it was the OH one he went to with OW last year). It bugged me a bit, but it got over it quickly. He bought S some clothes and asked what I needed (what is with him buying me stuff?). I said I didn't want anything. He dropped it off last Tuesday and S wanted nothing to do with him. S had a toy that needed fixed and had to pass H to get to me. H said he would do it and he said "no mommy". H did try to call S Friday, but S said he didn't want to talk. WE are going to try having S spend the night again this weekend. I have the science fair on Saturday morning so I will be leaving my house at 6:30 am. S says he wants to spend the night, but we will see.

S has been somewhat clingy, but getting a little better. It comes in large waves.

Still nothing on the D, which means H is stalling again. I don't understand why. I have asked him if he still wants to get a D and he never responds. Usually he just says, "i will talk to my L", and that is it so I don't know what is going on. I do know he posted on a mutual friend's video of church about how he "missed it". He started talking to this friend again. It is good because he needs other friends besides OW, but still why now. What is going on? Does he want to try again? Does he still want to be with OW? I just don't get it and I have been trying not to think about it and just keep on doing what I do. If he did want to try it would be an uphill battle for him, and I don't think he has the strength and resolve to do it. First and foremost trying to fix things with me, then also with S and S allowing H to spend time with me, and then my family and friends. Would I try if he asks? Probably, we would start with counselling and go from there.

I just don't know what to think or expect anymore. I am not worrying about it much, but those are questions I have going through my mind everyday that I check the mail and still nothing. Oh, and he bought me girl scout cookies and wants to drop them off sometime. He is making excuses to come over extra when he could just drop them off when he picks S up Friday or drops him off Saturday. All strange...

Really I am not focusing on that. Right now I am still busy, busy. Science Fair this weekend, plus getting things ready for the new quarter of sunday school. Also some awesome things are happening at church which has me very excited. After this weekend things will calm down a bit so that will be nice. Just living my life and being happy with it. I remember where I was last year and I am so happy to be where I am today because I am happy with everything