DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[ScaredinCanada]

Sorry if I mislead. My W has always said she wants to be on her own, makes it clear there is no OM and that it's certainly not why she wants leave.

She only wants to talk about things from her perspective. As long as I or anyone fully support her position then the discussion would be fine. She doesn't want anyone (especially me) to point out any potential problems/holes in her position.

Scared2Def, everyone else you say is exactly the way my W puts things. That I don't add anything to the sitch from her perspective (in her life specifically).

She basically agreed to do MC, which I'm at least grateful for...but again I truly believe she is just looking for someone else to support her position. I don't disagree with her feelings and her frustration with the sitch - it's the fact that she's not remotely interested in a "fresh start" with me.

I really need to just leave her alone for now. She is in a spot where I feel like her stubborness is making it impossible to speak any sort of options.

Although she did ask me what other options we have besides seperating.

I told her that I believed anyone in a committed R, the first step should be to try and identify and potentially fix the issues. I said if for some reason that didn't work, then potentially a trial seperation could be in order (I told I wasn't exactly sure how this would work except to say that we'd agree to seperate temporarily for a pre-determined period of time, say 1 month) and then try again with the R. I then said that I believed that an official seperation would be the next option and obviously eventually divorce if things didn't improve from there.

She seemed to be impressed by my breakdown, but I think it meant little to her. As I still think she believes seperation is the ONLY option.

Regardless I'm going to look into setting up MC, but I think I should wait a week or so for things to cool down a bit.

I'm going to ask for a C that is "pro marriage", but I know previusly with the IC that didn't mean crap.

What else should I have as criteria? Should I expect the C to have working knowledge of DB?

Again, I'm not looking to salvage my M/R at ANY cost but I want to give it the best and fairest shot possible to succeed.

Lately I've been getting worried about this now being more my W's issue, and even if somehow we reconcile that it's only a matter of time until she "wants to leave again".

I just wish I understood what is driving her desire to "see what else is out there", because I'm positive there isn't an OM right now.

It couldn't be just the silly country music she listens too could it?!?!