# 73 - Ocean

[mishka422]

((((((Maria)))))))

Hugs to you sweets. Hope you are finding each day just a small increment easier to bear.

[kat727]

I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. Big hugs. I know how you feel.

kat

[AliSuddenly]

I just wanted to post also, that I am thinking of you. Its a full moon today in cancer, linked to Neptune and I'm feeling pretty emotional. Sending you love
Al xxx

[MichelleLT]

(((Maria)))

[Kalni]

Thanks girls...

I have been a bit emotional with H lately. I dont know if anyone has a similar experience but I feel there will be something missing from our life. Period.

I am also feeling I cant share with him my thoughts, that he doesnt really know me, that with him, I am very concious about me in general.

He wants us to remodel part of our house (kitchen and kid's rooms). We have had sex twice last week and I think that is his response to my comment about it. He seemed to enjoy it more than I did (ok, trying to be funny here!).

I am ok in general. I gained nearly 5 kilos since my dad died, I am down 1,5 and need another 3-3,5 to go.
K

[Gypsy]

Hello Specialest of K's..

You are beautiful... sunshine walking.

*hugs*

[MichelleLT]

If you don't share with him your thoughts...he won't really know you. You are the only one who can choose to share yourself with him.

You spent so long walking on eggshells that it is only natural to be still recovering, rebuilding, patching. That doesn't mean things will be like this forever, or even very long. It's a phase.

You are also grieving. That changes your perspective on a lot of things. But the sunshine is still there.

Was your comment about sex good or bad? I mean, twice in the week isn't nothing lol.

Do you want to do the remodeling? It's great to see him planning your future together, taking care of you and the kids, really being there. It's so amazing how far you guys have come!

As for your weight, it's good that you are conscious of it and not getting up 15 or 20 kilos before you pay attention, but you are going through a stressful time of your life, so don't be too hard on yourself. You are always beautiful.

(((Maria)))

[Kalni]

I feel I am the only one pushing to the right direction. Making sure we arent going down the same path. When I get tired, we backslide. BUt that's the way I FEEL. Most of the times. Because it isnt the case. I can see the strides he is making. I can see the effort he makes. But he is so sick of what he has done to us, sometimes he is just trying to avoid the facts. He hates it I dont trust him. He gets mad and upset. But..., he has to face it.

This weekend we had a conversation where he showed exceptional jealousy. It is not at all reassuring for me cause he used to a lot when he was in his affair, but it was interesting. Caught me off guard.

Communication is still THE issue for us. Trying to find the way to make it efficient and positive.
Love to all
K

[AliSuddenly]

Hmm, not trusting him reminds him of how badly he behaved and how he let you all down and makes him feel bad about himself and the guilt kicks in and well.. yada yada hey, all that DBing stuff. Interesting that he would get jealous of YOU !? If thats what you meant. I mean, you proved your love and tenacity and commitment, because you hung in there and took him back, after everything that went on and time that went by. Maybe worth reminding him of that !

I agree with Michelle, I know being slim helps your mental attitude, to feel better about yourself, but you've just lost your Dad and maybe you need some treats and to indulge yourself? And anyway, I've met you and.. you are slim !! Nothing to worry about there sunbeam.
Much love back to you, Al xxx

[awest1217]

You and H have both changed a lot over the time that you were apart so could it be true that neither of you know each other? I mean really know each other?

It is good to let him know about you because even something as simple as you likes and dislikes have probably changed over the time you were apart and H needs to relearn who you are, and you have to learn to he is as well. Communication is always hard, but try to talk to H and let him know how you feel, what you want, your dreams, etc.

You are one awesome and strong woman. You have done so much and come so far and it is just great to see.