W in long PA with another woman. I'm devastated.

[sparks14]

My W and I got out of town this weekend where both our parents reside. My sister is in town from NYC and they are having a shower. The first night, I dropped my W at her parents place and went to mine. Told my wife I needed some space. That night, I exposed everything to my parents. I trust and believe in them. In anticipation for bringing the affair up to my wife next week, I valued my parents advice. Of course they are heartbroken, but they understand the support and love for my wife as well as the desire to save my marriage.

My plan was to bring the affair to the attention of my wife. Tell her to end now. Write no contact letter. Expose to both parents and maybe even OW's soon to be ex. My parents really believe that the same sex piece of this puzzle cannot be ignored and should be navigated very carefully. The advice from the folks at MB show dr Hurley saying that same sex affairs should be no different than hetero affairs. I am truly lost. My father thinks I should approach wife. Let her know of affair. Give her the chance to end it right now if she ever had doubts with the intention that we work on us towards forgiveness. Expose to just parents. If she wants to walk, tell her a very bad divorce procedure is in our future. Our S will obviously be in the middle of this which scares me and will terrify her. Her master plan assumed they would have full custody forever in a perfect lesbian world.

I'm terrified. I need to suck it up. Should I take the strong tactics from dr Hurley? Should I trust my father and walk carefully around the sexual orientation part? Does anybody have any experience in this situation?