I failled horribly...

[Denver_2010]

Wow FOBD! I've missed a ton of stuff goin on with you being so wrapped up in my own misery over the past couple of days! I'm really sorry man!

First, I just have to say that I LOVE what you did re the wedding rings. Beautiful. Do I think that her reaction definitely says that she balking? I don't know. Neither do you. Maybe, maybe not. I wouldn't think about it too much. We can't mind read and we can't control the thoughts or choices of our Ws.

Tough MC that you have there! I'm glad that you didn't take his advice though. I thought there was too much danger in escalating things. If someone is going to shoot you in the head, don't hand them the gun... that's my thought. And Lost said it well... I prefer to view myself as a peaceful beacon of light directing my W home. Read somewhere on here that we need to keep the road home paved and smooth! Good advice IMO.

I think that your buddy has some good insight and good advice. I'd keep asking him for it.

I'm not too surprised that your W was all biz today. Remember, she had been preparing for this too!! She thought very carefully about what demeanor that she wanted to have in order for her to get through it. Guaranteed. It doesn't mean that it wasn't hard for her. It was. No doubt. She just prepared.

That is why I still think that your two other contacts are more telling. She probably didn't spend much, if any, time preparing for those contacts. Maybe you saw her true emotions? Maybe that's also why she really spent time emotionally preparing herself for this weekend? Bc she didn't want to reveal herself to you again.

Your binge last night? Completely normal man. I remember in November, right after my W told me that she was moving out, she went out with some friends. I got EVERY bottle of liquor and EVERY beer that we had in the house and made it my point to drink AS MUCH of it as humanly possible! I ended up passing out on the couch watching/listening to a Roger Waters Live Concert DVD as loud as my stereo would play! I'm sure that my neighbors loved hearing Comfortably Numb echoing throughout the neighborhood at 3 in the morning! I haven't punched any fences yet, but have a 80 lb punching bag in our basement that is getting plenty of use! Don't beat yourself up too much about last night. We need to vent in our own ways. I'm just proud of you for not drunk calling your W. That's huge!

I hope that your hangover and fist is much better by the time that this post actually appears!!

BITS!
Denver