Thank you for coming back and giving a woman's perspective. You are absolutely right about the situation. Let's take a walk down memory lane so that you can get the full picture.
My Mom is 69 moved in when she was 65 with us, at my W request. There were many times my W complained about my mom and many times I felt like I played referee between the two. My mom's perspective was that I always took my W side and my W perspective was I always took my moms. On at least three occasions I was going to talk to my mom to move to one of my brothers or my sister house but my W stopped me, not only did she stop me she was very adamant about it.
As time moved on she complained and would say " I just want to vent I don't want you to do anything" so I would listen. My mom on several occasions approached my W and asked if the arguments were between us were because of her and my W would always assure her that it had nothing to do with her it was between me and her.
Two weeks prior to my W leaving my mom decided to leave but by this time it was too little too late. I will not hide the fact that my mother living with us was a huge part in our breakdown but there were truly very little options for me. For the past six months I had grown tired of the constant arguing and began to withdraw a lot I am not blind to that.
That is why one of my 180's was to move my mom out. I told my W I needed this time to be about my D and me and this had nothing to do with her. At the time she said 'it won't last. If I was to come back it would just go back to the same thing" I told her my M was too important and that it would NEVER happen. Keep in mind however that she said that back in December before she filed. The longer she is away the stronger and more sure of herself she seems. Maybe it is just a cover up because if I know this woman she is hurting inside as bad as I am only difference is she is angry and anger keeps a lot of those other emotions from coming up.
Sandi, I know that the situation she was in was a difficult one but I did try to change it on numerous occasions. This is a big part of the guilt I carry with me.
