I WILL Attain my Goals - Personal and M

[Denver_2010]

A couple of things, the information you have, is it accurate? To be honest it is in your best interest to assume it is, affairs are highly likely, but you also want to make sure it is 100% true, not just 100% likely.

FOBD - No worries on not being available much this weekend. I wasn't either. On top of that, my ability to post has been severely limited by the moderators. So my posts to you and the other BITS are probably showing up 3 pages back on your threads! I want to be here for all of you though, just like you all have been for me. Going to catch up on your thread in a bit.

J3B - Thanks for weighing in. Your post is somewhat of a beacon of hope on an otherwise dreary weekend for me.

You are correct, I am not 100% certain that PA/R is happening or that it is even likely. I am assuming the worst. I had had a feeling that sitch with OM had diminished or was gone entirely. I was wrong. I jumped to some huge assumptions yesterday bc I was so severely hurt that my feeling had been wrong. Like Grit and others have said, I attached expectations to my hope. Big mistake. But so is making assumptions.

I really know nothing more after this weekend than I did prior to it... other than that the feeling that I had, which wasn't based on any facts, was wrong.

The other thing:

Why am I going through this emotional torture for this woman???

My take on getting through this, is you aren't. You aren't doing this for her, you are doing this for yourself. You are doing this not to be cockold or a doormat, your doing this not because she didn't live up to her vows, but because you can live up to yours.

Damn straight this is why I am going through this! Thank you for reminding me J3B. Why on earth would one choose to go through this pain if it were not a matter of personal integrity... the worthiness of our word... the veracity of our vows to be with someone through good times and bad?

Marriages can survive an affair, they can become stronger afterward...that's the hope Denver, that's where your hope should lie.

It can be done Denver,you can do it, despite how you feel at the moment.

That IS where my hope is J3B. I HOPE that my M survives and is rebuilt to be much stronger. I KNOW that this is where my heart is... and what my intentions are.