Something that jumped out to me in your story was that your mother lived with you & W. I saw where you said that W always felt it was three against one when she was there. I assume that was you, the D, and the third had to be your mother. So, how much did your mother have a part in your lives?
Whenever the W ask the H to have his mother move out of their house....and he doesn't do it, then the W feels like she is not his priority, and she doesn't feel respected. Many times a man thinks it's just easier to take sides with his mother, but it is devastating for the W.
I just think that your mom had more effect on things than maybe you've said. Did your W tell you that your mother was controlling your lives, and things like that?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
