what should I do? What if I tell her I would rather she doesn't? Or, if you are coming with, you need to be positive and get over this tense stuff around me, and try to be happy, otherwise you just make me tense, and that just ruins it for everybody. That is what I would love to say, but I am sure I will be told not to.
For sure, you'd be told not to. If she had a disease that made her feel this badly, would you think she ruins it for everyone? It's not fun being around a depressed person but a lot depends upon the way you deal with it.
Unless a person has been in that dark place of depression, thyroid disorder, and other physical problems that effect the mood or personality...you just cannot understand what it's like.
If you are in the LRT, then you have to get your focus off of her and you have to stop with the expectations. It has been a short time. What if this were to take up to two years....how are you going to hang in there if you can't do it for two months? You want to see some type of action from her...but if she's not in the frame of mind where she can produce what you want from her....then what?
Has your W told you that she really wants to work in the MR to make it better....or did she just agree that the two of you needed to do that? If she has committed, then you may have to occasionally tell her,"Look, I really need you to work with me here". You don't get off into a R talk....you just say, "I could use some help right now". You don't do it to pick a fight and you keep it short and simple. "W, I need you to help me show the kids a really great time today". You need it to work kind of like pouring cold water in her face. A reminder to her that it needs to be teamwork and you can't do it all by yourself.
If she has not committed to working, then you certainly do not need to expect her to make baby-steps forward. The only time you need to even look for baby-steps is if you are in piecing. So....are you in the LRT or Piecing?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
