Some/many children from unhappy, abusive and dysfunctional families do not recognise it. This is part of the problem. They do not want to see their family as in any way abnormal. If they can it is a very good sign imo.
Denial of everything is a big part of MLC. My husband's family were dysfunctional, and interestingly only his youngest sister sees it, but my h always refused to. "No better and no worse than ayone else's" was his mantra. I don't think he could bear the implications of examining his emotionally deprived childhood.
My children sometimes noted that their father could remember nothing from his childhood, and had no stories from it to tell them It is only now they are grown that they recognise how odd that was.
Sound familiar anyone?
There is a very good book called Silent Sons which details some of this.
