I wish I could help and suggest THE solution. We both know there isnt such a thing, in most cases. Right now you seem stuck. Only this time, none of you seems to have the energy and the resolve to work through this. Last time it was you, right?
The only thing that comes to my mind is...go back to basics. You have all the knowledge, you ve read tons of sitches here, articles, rules, etc etc But I bet she doenst. And there is a gap there because you feel you do the work but you dont get the educated response you should.
Go back to basics. Shake the negative feelings off. Start by forcing yourself to see what's good in your wife, your life, your M. You've been together for so long, there are many things, I am sure, you can recall that are positives. But you wont find any if you are in the WA spouse mode. You'll be just another typical spouse trying to find reasons to base his leaving. YOu knwo how that goes...
Try to approach her with open mind, fresh attitude. Pick yourself up Forrest. Our state of mind is ALWAYS, cruicial in these cases. You have a choice, make the good one every single time for a while. Invest in little things, little things do matter.
I dont think it's weird you are not attracted to her. Being rejected for too long can do that to humans. It's a protective mechanism.
The hardest part would be to bring her on board as well. Creative positive interactions could wake her up. I am here if you need to talk, love K
