You know, if I didn't know better - sometimes I'd swear that my wife and I had a great marriage. When she is not telling me how much she loves me, but is not IN love with me, and how she hasn't loved me in YEARS, and she wants to be head over heels in love with someone else, and - well you get the idea - we have pleasant conversation (although very superficial) laugh at stuff together, and in general you just wouldn't know that we were having any problems. Which, of course, makes this all the more difficult.
There are times when she is very mean, and not very rational. I think that she is manufacturing this anger as a way to make it easier for her to justify her decision about leaving - like she wants to make sure she can say hey, we just don't get along. It's like she is almost a different person. And then the very next day she is acting like normal, even doing nice things for me. I believe this is just a conflict avoidance mechanism. That as much as she wants out - she also doesn't want to discuss or argue over anything. So here I have a woman who one minute is purposely trying to create friction (which I try and not let happen), and then a woman who doesn't want to have to deal with an uncomfortable issue or situation. Again, confuses the heck out of me.
I read another thread earlier where the poster said the loneliness was the worst thing. For me, the worst thing is watching someone you love careen around life in danger of going right into the ditch. And knowing you cannot do anything to change it. All the while your marriage and family hang in the balance. Thats the toughest thing for me - her decision doesn't affect just her. That would be one thing. But it affects a whole network of people - me, kids, in-laws, common friends, etc.
Just thinking out loud and had to get some things off my chest!
