Augtan, It sounds like you have made a lot of progress in the time that you have been here. The watching and waiting for the X can be the hardest and most heart wrenching part thing, ever. Wondering if yours will be the one to make it back to the family or to run forever. Just remember to take care of yourself, not to push and to be patient. When you want to push, say a prayer instead --lol.
The easy way to get to someone's previous posts is to click on their name in red. It's in the top left hand corner of their posts.
When you click on their name a little box will pop up and the very last slot says, 'view posts'. Click on view posts and it will bring up every post they've ever posted on the forum. Start with the last page generally and work your way backwards.
Thanks seeking, I tried a few times and figured out they were disable, not sure why, but I have noticed that people talk like they have spoken or emailed with people they met on here, how do you do that?
EverHopful, I have made progress, but I had a major set back this week, it is a long story, but I completely lost it with my XH on the phone over an issue with D18 involving lying, I hate lying and have been lied to so much by both of them regarding OW#2 who is a complete psycho...and when I say that, I mean truly "single white female" psycho. OW#1 was bad, and she was the wh*re that helped break up my marriage so she is not a good person and lost custody of her son, it goes on and on with her too, but this one is beyond what you would even believe. Anyway, I called sobbing to XH about it all and that was a huge set back. I will say that XH was very, very nice and supportive about it, he didn't do the lying so it wasn't his fault, he listened to me and tried to calm me down, etc. He use to just hangs up on me, but I haven't freaked on him in awhile so.... I sent him an email apologizing to him and informing him that I had discussed it all with D18 and had apologized to her too for getting so upset. I told him I knew that I was allowing someone else to control my emotions and that I know I am the only one I can control and will continue to work on not allowing myself to get to that place again. He just emailed back "thanks..please love D18, I miss her soooo much" I emailed back that I think he misses all of the kids and should just move up here to be with them. He emailed back the amount he is making on side jobs and that he would lose all that if he left there. So, he is still in the tunnel and I am just leaving him alone. And, I will handle all issues with the kids on my own, although he was supportive, I am just going to let him be and see what happens.
In the meantime, I went out with friends last night, had some fun. Reconnected with a high school friend on facebook who is a sweet guy and almost divorced, we are going to meet up next week to catch up.
Walking down the hall with the door open, walking faster and faster and the wind just might close the door. I pray for XH each day, sometimes a couple of times a day. I just want God to heal his pain, he has been through enough in his life, he needs peace and happiness, I wish he would seek it from his family that loves him (me and his kids) and God, but that is up to him.
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
Thanks seeking, I tried a few times and figured out they were disable, not sure why, but I have noticed that people talk like they have spoken or emailed with people they met on here, how do you do that?
You are correct in your observation.
The TOS rules do not allow us to discuss this, and in earlier times they were not enforced the way they are now.
That is the most I think I can say without getting in trouble.
The easy way to get to someone's previous posts is to click on their name in red. It's in the top left hand corner of their posts.
When you click on their name a little box will pop up and the very last slot says, 'view posts'. Click on view posts and it will bring up every post they've ever posted on the forum. Start with the last page generally and work your way backwards.
After you do the above on the top at the right it says "Show Posts" "Show Topics" if you click on the show topics it will give you all the topics you or the person you are reading has created.
I have been trying to stay away from the boards for awhile, as it seems to suck me back in and leave me feeling worse sometimes. But, I had to come on here and tell what has been happeneing the last week.
XH is very mad at me, and isn't talking to me. Which is fine, he has a right to be (long story), but I have apologized and he owes me forgivness cause even though I was wrong it comes no where near to what he has done to me and I have forgiven him, so I have been letting him process things on his own like I should, keeping busy with school, work and the three kids I am raising alone!! I forsure have my moments of bitterness about what he has done and chosen for all of us, but I continue to let it go cause it is the past and nothing I can do about it.
So, last night..D11 comes down stairs crying and saying that she finally told XH all she has wanted to say to him. I asked her what that was and she said... she asked him over and over why he did this to us, told him how unfair it all is and that she doesn't understand how he could do it and that if he really loved her he would have thought about her before he did it (have an affiar and leave us). He never really answered her directly just said "your mom and I couldn't get along" to which she promptly told him was bulls*it! He then said he would "explain" when she was older why he did it" and she told him she was older and wanted an explaination!! He didn't give her one, then told her he was proud of her for sharing how she felt, that he knew she had wanted to tell him for years. She asked him if he would move here and he gave more excuses for not doing that too.
Why can't this man step up and be a man?? Why can't he just say there is no excuse, there is no explaination, I made a mistake and I am very sorry for it?? Why can't he just tell her that he should have thought of her and tried harder to make it work? What a coward and a liar and a wimp!! In the past he has even told her that I divorced him and that he didn't want the divorce!! WOW!! That is the furthest from the truth! He told me he was very happy in our marriage 2 months before he started the affair, he was (and still is) having a classic MLC, alien take over, jeckle to hyde..all of it!!
Anyway, he put on his facebook today:
"I see the angels and demons in my rear view mirror..... Looking forward to the road ahead."
What the heck does that mean? Why would you want to see your angels in the rear view mirror?? Aren't they good for you and suspose to help you? I just don't get him! Does he think because she told him all that, that everything is fine and he is able to just move on leaving it all behind him and not caring yet again about the destruction he has caused? Does he really believe his road ahead will be good when he has done nothing to change himself or acknowledge anything he has done to the people who loved him the most? I wish he would ride off into the sunset, never to be seen again...execpt I need money from him...so...I am just so sick of it all!! He has done such awful things and all the consequences are mine and my kids..he seems to have none!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
What has happened isn't 'fair', but remember that you are in the better place - you have your wonderful kids and you aren't an alien. Alien land cannot be a pleasant place, no matter what kind of spin they put on it.
