I have done everything wrong....

[Grocerykartman]

Islander,

Hang in there man. You'll get through this time. Feels like the end of the world now, and at times it feels like it gets even worse before it gets better, but you WILL find a way to pull through this.

I reiterate to you, please seek individual counseling for yourself. It was the best thing I could have done to help me sort out my thoughts and add some objectivity to my life. Don't announce it to her if you do go, go for yourself only. I cannot reccomend this enough.

That's true, you don't know if she will come back. Neither does she. So even though it feels like she has all the power now by leaving, you have to keep in mind that she is probably no happier with her life right now than you are, and leaving is not making her happy either. I'll bet half my next paycheck she's actually more scared than you are, hard as that may be to believe. Try to look at it as an even playing field, even though you feel like you just got your bell rung.

At this point, you have to accept that she moved out. You have said you don't know how to get through this or how to detach. I am going to say the same thing I said to another poster fairly recently. I know all you can think about is her right now but, you have to detach from that pain. So,


Let's talk about YOU. What do YOU like to do? What have YOU been wanting to do for a long time that you haven't gotten around to? What kinds of things do you think YOU might want to try? What did YOU used to like to do that you haven't done in forever? Got a couple old buddies you have lost touch with, who you can call up and just go be a dude for awhile? Got a couple of new male (important) coworkers you can ask to go have a beer with?

I ask you all this, because you have to stop asking her questions about the relationship, she doesn't know the answers right now and doesn't want to think about them. She just wants to escape. I think the best way to fight the urge to keep asking her and pressuring her and pursuing her is to step back and look at YOU, in some of the manners above.

Please take care.