Sorry that you find yourself here, but you're going to find no better group of people to get you the help you need.
Whew that is alot of baggage. Okay, first things first. Does your H want to work on the M at all? Right now he feels justified in what he's doing because you've done it not once but twice and long term as well. The way you casually mentioned you only having sex with the OM once means that you still don't realize how devastating what you did before is.
It was also very admirable of your H to be willing to raise a child that wasn't his. Right now all he's doing (in his mind) is doing the responsible thing. Because the two of you haven't sought help in the past, I get the feeling that he never completely got over the trust issues with you so needed someone else to fill that void.
Have you seen an IC yourself?
One thing I would caution is that you DO NOT contact the OM to try and get him to help you. That would be just adding gasoline to the wildfire that's out of control right now.
Another question to you is...are you willing to accept this child as his as he had with the one you had with the OM? I think he needs to see some kind of acceptance on your part.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
