DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[MrBond]

"I told her I agreed and that if she wanted to talk about it and try and work through it, I would be here."

Wrong thing to say. She's hiding something. She's either hiding money for the D or she doesn't want you to see her purchases.

You aren't the one with the trust issues. She is. I would have acknowledged the fact that you have used your Christmas bonus and that any extra funds should be going into paying you back for half. Start putting your foot down on things. Be the one in control.