"The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson.
This book REALLY had an impact on my thinking. I got over a huge hump by reading this and considering everything in it. Eric recommended it (thank you!!!) and it has been a very important book to me.
It doesn't focus a lot on "why they left." It focuses on YOU throughout, on what you are going through and how it affects you physically and emotionally and what YOU can do to help yourself and be kinder to yourself.
I think when you are several months post-bomb you have to try to get off the "why did he/she leave" and "what did I do wrong" and be more present-minded, and this book is all about that.
It's a great book.
Bottom line, it doesn't matter WHY they left. That is their path.
"What did I do wrong?" is helpful only in identifying where you can grow, what you can change for you and to help you build understanding and compassion for someone else's perspective. It should not be used to beat oneself up over and over again. Antonia, you are so right ... present-minded is where we should strive to be. Solution oriented. Forward moving.
Cheers, PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
