DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[ScaredinCanada]

My W called me tonight just as I was about to leave work. Wanted to remind me that she had to work. Also, wanted to tell me that she left chicken out for dinner (hasn't done that in a while).

She then told me she is going to take the girls to dance tomorrow, and then to farm demonstration or something (horse related), I said it sound good and that maybe we could go as a family. She said "I don't want you to come." I just paused and said ok.

Now she starts telling me that we don't have any trust in our relationship (my concerns that she might be having an affair mostly) and "Without trust, we don't have a relationship". Although I agree we haven't had a R in almost 3 f*&king months!! What's any different now?

At one point last week I asked her what her plan was with the extra money she'd been making (she's been working constantly), and she seemed to get upset about it. Said "I don't have any extra money". The reason why I was asking was because out VISA had gotten out of control with almost $10000 owing (honestly don't understand how) and I pretty much used my entire Christmas bonus to pay it off...which she didn't even seem to acknowledge.

Regardless she says because we don't trust each other she has changed her banking account passwords. I was kinda stunded, because it's never been a problem in the past. Heck she would ask me to logon for her. I guess I made the mistake last week of telling her I thought about snooping to see how much money she had.

Anyways, we ended by her saying "I can't go on like this, the trust issues are frustrating me". I told her I agreed and that if she wanted to talk about it and try and work through it, I would be here.