Oh you totally make a good point with that PEI. That's true. But I still don't think it justifies him having an affair and not being willing to spend one minute in marital or individual counseling or trying to work anything out with his wife of 19 years--and that's pretty much what he said initially, that the affair was his expression of "finally taking charge of his life and doing what he really wanted and needed for himself, no matter the cost to anyone else."
I think had he ever considered therapy with me that is the very thing that would have come out--our communication problems.
Whoa!!! Where did I imply or infer that it justified anything?
My H said all the same stuff ... but I can'd do anything about him, I can only control me so that's where I choose to focus. I know now that his feelings and perceptions are very real to him. In his mind they are just as valid as mine are to me in mine.
Doesn't make them logical.
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
