Need ideas.

[Sad_but_happy]

Harrier,

I guess I never really got "mad" I was more hurt. The anger does come and go at times but I rationalize my part in her leaving me emotionally. So I am able to keep it in check. So I really don't get angry.

I have to say also that my W has been awesome. Once I set the boundary she really stopped seeing/talking/emailing/texting OM. And OM has left my W alone telling her that he does not want to break up a family. And he has stayed away completely. So I guess it's easier for me in that regard cause my W is responding positively every day. When W is positive I am positive.

I can imagine how I would feel if W was still angry or cold or distant or seeing OM. I would be a mess. That's why I feel so bad for so many of the posters here. They are doing everything they can with very little positive reaction from S.

I backslid one time on Christmas Eve after waaaaaaay too much drinking. Told her I was lonely and missed her. Kinda freaked her out (that's what she told me the next day). But she really didn't hold it against me.

My key in the past 70 days has been to think before opening my mouth. I NEVER open my mouth without thinking. And I no longer yell ever! Yelling serves no purpose. I am calm when I talk to W even when she is being unreasonable. On one occasion when my W has being angry, I was calm and talked her off the ledge instead of lashing out. Later that night she said it meant a lot to her that I didn't get mad. She said sorry. Do you think that would have happened if I lashed out? Nope!

You really can catch more flies with honey then with vinegar.

We all know it but for some reason don't live it. I decided to live it.