My D's are alot older than your kids (D18 and D15)and I still want to know where they are going to be and have a way to get in touch with them. I do not think it is unreasonable to know this info (and quite frankly would think it odd if you didn't). I know you don't want S2 around other woman, leave her out of the equation and tell him you want to have a way to get in touch with him. If he brings her up (as in "you won't let him come b/c you don't want him around her".), let it lie and focus on your knowing how to get in touch with him since he has your son.
I understand you listening to info from your SIL, but it really isn't helpful and it will keep you from really detaching from him.
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I have detached almost completely, never call him, answer only some of his calls, end the convo first, and never ask questions.
Sweetie, detaching is more of a feeling (or lack thereof) than it is an action. Your actions will eventually lead you to be able to detach, but I don't think you really are yet.
This takes alot of patience and time. For a long time after my H left, I would tell myself that I wasn't getting my hopes up and that I was truly detached. It took alot of things to get me to a place of not having any expectaions. As far as hope goes, well I have my own philosophy about that.
You will hear over and over to take care of yourself and your kids GAL. Hard when they are young, but it is doable. This is b/c it's all you can control and it helps you to become the best expression of you.
I know you will get more feedback, co take it all in and do what works for you.
