Need advice please!!! Not sure on next move?

[hope2011]

No, you're not the only one who dreams about this too. I haven't slept good in weeks except for 1 or 2 nights when I was so exhausted my body just gave out. I dream about it all a lot, wake up in the middle of the night and it hits me and I can't go back to sleep. I end up crying quietly and soaking my pillow. I understand. You're not alone in this. I'm going to start exercising to help me sleep more, clear my head and get into better shape. Maybe you should too?

God is in control, you can let go. But it still hurts like heck. But no, he's not happy, his smile is fake, endorphin, idiocy induced. He's a bigger mess than you are right now only he's too self-destructive to notice it. When he does bottom out (and he will)... he'll be dealing with regret, pain, shame, etc FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE and eternity too because he has to answer to God for this. Your pain is temporary. Just remember that. TEMPORARY. Though it doesn't feel that way right now. I have to keep telling myself that too. When my XH left me I was a wreck for 2 years. 2 full years. No one could tell me that some day I wouldn't hurt. Here it is, 10 yrs later.... I feel nothing for him. Fondness for the memories we have, pity for who he became but that's it. I don't care enough to hurt anymore. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. So just remember, that however this turns out (fixing marriage or D)... this pain is temporary. Now, throw that back in my face when I need it, please?

Something else you need think about... he HAS to smile in front of everyone, he HAS to pretend to be happy.... otherwise he looks like an idiot for walking out. If he walks around looking sad or upset or angry, family and friends will tell him he's messed up, to get help, to go back home to his wife and stop messing up his life. He's trying to prove to the world he's not wrong.

Have you thought about getting another dog for you? I have a little dog too, she's my baby, my little bundle of happy. Nothing phases her, she's always happy, she loves me unconditionally, she needs me, she won't leave me. I need her to keep me sane, to give me the affection I need. Ok so it's a lick on the face at 7am or sitting on my lap begging for me to pet her non-stop... but boy, it's nice to be needed and loved. Think about it. 2 little dogs isn't too much if he comes back. And it would something for YOU, a good moving forward step, GAL. If not a dog, get a bird or a fish. It helps to not be the only soul in the house.