ok guys. I think I have been doing an ok job. She is on the couch or in the basement, but she is smart. She knows she is the one leaving and accepts the fact she gets the doghouse. I am trying to be the new me. Lost seven pounds already. (mainly due to the fact my appitite is non-existant) I do really good at work during the day, detaching, and so on. It is a roller coaster though.
She is extremely self centered right now. Doing things with friends that have no responsibilities. I feel she is even cutting the kids way short on "mommy time" i have not told her I feel this way though. Perhaps in time she will come down from cloud nine and realize what she has. This DB site is the best therapy I could ask for. I need to be consistant, find the silver lining in everything and be a good friend to her. She knows I feel guilty for my past actions and I do understand why she feels the way she does. I have told her this. We don't talk about the future weeks ahead when we are together at all.
I am taking the kids out of town for the weekend and she has a baby shower and other events going in the cities. When we parted ways this morning, she asked do you want a hug? I was reluctant, but I accepted. She pulled me in and gave me a kiss. What the hell is that! Is she trying to see if I am weak? What makes me wonder is she always asks "want a hug?" never just giving it. It makes it feel like a trap. I just want to hold her forever, but I make it short. What should I do in these situations? We never say I love you or anything like that, since she broke the separation news. When the kids ask "why are you sleeping on the couch all the time?" she says because she is stuffed up, or "daddy was couhging too much"
