Someone suggest H is having a MLC....I don't know?

[cat04]

If this is a MLC, it started 10 years ago, and I don't know I can stick out another 10 years of this garbage and his dissatifaction.

IF this is MLC, you may be right about when it started, you may not. It is one of those things we see better as we heal, as we learn more about MLC, and as time passes. Initially, I had three or four ideas of when I believe my H’s crisis started. Now I have it narrowed down to a general time area.

As far as putting up with it for another 10 years, it COULD take that long. Or it might not. The idea, is to get you to a place where you can outlast his crisis. Down the road, you may decide that you are not trying to do that anymore. Hopefully though, if you ever get to that point, you will be a much different person.

And we don’t necessarily want to try to look that far down the road. No one knows what tomorrow will bring.

I have worth and value and if he can't see it, then perhaps someone else would be thrilled to be around me, have me as a partner, and actually like me just as I am for who I am NOW.

I am going to echo Mach…

Who are you now?

Do you like yourself right now? Regardless of what your H thinks of you…

Have you plateaued and become as much as you can be or is there more inside, just waiting to come out?

I know Syclla and Charybdis. I know who they are. Is that really how you see yourself?

Or are you Odysseus?

I won't have to be the one that has to continually change to keep a relationship functioning, turning myself inside out every time he decides that the relationship, or I'm not good enough for him.

No you shouldn’t have to sit around waiting for him or anyone to decide if you are good enough or not.

That is not how this works.

I will loudly disagree with you though about changing. We all change. Life is dynamic not static. It would be really boring if it was.

We all have to bend in relationships. They ebb and flow like the tides. They don’t sit still, forever the same, like a statue.


Nothing is black and white in this world. Nothing. Except black and white. There is just so much gray area that I think you are not seeing yet…