Need ideas.

[Harrier]

Hello,

I think it's fair to say that I am in piecing. My W is working on the marriage. She has told me that she thinks it can be good again and is very optimistic overall.

What is the problem, then? You might ask.

The problem is me. I am finding I am my own worst enemy in this process. I am making a lot of stupid mistakes because of things like thinking I know what my W is thinking, not being patient with the process and getting mad over little things.

There was a time when I thought I knew much more than this board and the DB process. A time when I thought I was too good to take advice. I am humbled and scared that I am going to mess this up.

I think much of it has to do with the fact that I didn't DB all that long before my W decided to take divorce off the table. I never got into good DB habits that would help me in piecing.

I assume most of you with really tough situations would want to strangle me now or hit me literally with a 2x4. You guys are the ones that really get it and I admire you for that.

Now I need your help.

What are things you do to help yourself?

The only thing I was doing was making vague and unrealistic long term goals like "have no fights for a week." Which I would break.

So I have decided to do the following.
1. Have daily goals
2. Have concrete weekly goals.
3. Do a daily affirmation, in front of them mirror

I need some other ideas and maybe techniques for dealing with thing when the get overwhelming. I'd appreciate it.

Of course you can still curse at me if you want.