Can't seem to tell what stage or what i'm doing

[Metal]

Yeah, I see. I'm going to quit on the music. It is really bad music. I think I'm going to go to a CelebrateRecovery support group tonight after I drop off D11 at church-youth. And then I'm going to go bowling Saturday. I've spec'd out a few places that I'd like to go, and their times, etc. I've started asking around what people do for fun, and looking for possible guy-dates. I will do my best to go and have fun, and not think about W and her reaction. After last night, I feel discouraged again. Up-And-Down, Up-And-Down, is exhausting.

I woke up this morning and for a minute I thought maybe all my problems had just been a dream... and then it all crashed in on me again. It was terrible. How does anyone get their appetite back?

My Co says shes bipolar, her parents think shes selfish, I think she's either MLC or mental breakdown, I don't even think she knows. I'm having real trouble detaching, even reading everyday, it's such a slow process. I don't know how to just give up my feelings. It's like I have a death-grip on our old M.