This afternoon H wanted to come and get the snow blower. I asked if he could do it in the morning. He said no, he needed it right now. I texted back, ok I will pull it out of the shop. When are u coming? He says in a couple of hours. So 3 hours later he doesn't show up. I text that I would like to put it away if he is not coming. H say, fine put it away you didn't want me there anyways.
I didn't respond. H texts again a little later...you know you are preventing me from working and it will effect you to. whats next? All I text back (after raging for a few minutes) sorry you feel that way.
Wow, how inconsiderate your H is being, and manipulative ( he was trying to justify his bad behaviour with that " you didn't want me there anyway." )
May I make a suggestion? My H often said that to me when I tried to discuss things " sorry you feel that way." For me, it's such a dismissive phrase, meaning ... "I hear you, it's too bad you feel that way, but it doesn't really matter to me what you feel."
My suggestion is this:: next time simply say, "I hear and understand what you're saying." Then state your expectation. "I had expected that you would have been here by ____________." Sorry it didn't work out today, call me when you have a firm time you want to arrange this.
If you can help it, don't use the word BUT. That totally invalidates what you said before.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
