A slow turn

[FellOnBlackDays]

Bolt,
First, let me congratulate you on your progress. That is AWESOME, man!! I am so happy for you. Feels good, doesn't it? Just continue to play it cool. For the past two weeks, I have done all I can during the brief interactions with my W to be kind, gentle, caring and understanding. Now, don't get me wrong. I have stood my ground at times and I am willing to defend myself and my position, but I only do that when I feel it is really, really necessary to do so.

Otherwise, it sounds like you are doing great. Keep it up. Keep her guessing at all times. Somewhere on here I read the best thing yet to date. I am sorry I can't give credit to the author, but I just don't remember. In a nutshell, they stated, "Your WAS has spent some time carefully planning out their departure. In their minds they have it all figured out. They will drop the bomb, you will cry, beg, plead, get angry, act like an *ss and do all the things they want and expect. Then they can carelessly walk away from you feeling completely justified in their actions. So, your job is to, as politely and kindly as possible, ABSOLUTELY DESTROY THAT PLAN TO THE POINT THAT IT CAN BE CARRIED OUT!!! When you DB, it completely pulls the rug out from under them and they end up questioning why things are not going to plan. If you are lucky, they end up questioning what they are doing altogether. Then, the healing can begin."

Cool advice, huh? Now, here comes the next difficult step. This is where i am right now. "Watch and Monitor." Pay very careful attention to what she says going forward. There will be messages within the things they are saying. Look for them. Don't over-analyze the crap out of everything like I do, but really listen when she interacts with you and then post some of what you think you heard here. We can comment on this if we have experienced the same thing.

Bolt, keep posting. I am so excited for you. You really seem to be doing well. Remember, a win for a member is a win for all of us!!!

B.I.T.S.

FOBD