Divorce Remedy is yours.... Realize that words mean absolutely nothing right now.... She FEELS like she can't work on the marriage anymore.. Now that she is out, you are in.... One of you is going to have to give... My advice is to treat her civilly, don't get dragged into fights... here is an example as how you VALIDATE your wife's feelings...
W- Shaver you were an inconsiderate a##hold and you treated me like sh#t for too long... I am DONE shaver- W, you are right, I guess I never thought of it like that, I was an ass and the way I treated you was wrong.. I understand why you are DONE.
"We talked finances last nite, how we can make living apart work on our income. Our lives are both going to be reduced to pennies to live on." There is consequences for her actions... This is out of your CONTROL.. It is stressful, but don't bring it out to her.. You are happy, you are going to make a budget and do the best you can... Worst case you lost the house... Horrible, but it isn't the END of the world.. don't let things you can't control ruin your life.. Find your happiness.
Validating allows people to be RIGHT for the way they feel. arguing with people's feelings accomplishes nothing. In the above scenario, If you were to justify yourself or blame her for her shortcomings it would only maker her FEEL more sure that DIVORCE is the right choice. This is critical that you actually LISTEN to her words and OWN your crap behavior.
Now, if you actually listen and Validate her feelings...She may actually begin to take your side. w- you know what.. Maybe shaves wasn't such an ass, I certainly wasn't a saint..ect.
"Its awful hard to watch her act very normal and almost carefree. I fear this is not a good sign. She has her network of friends scoping for places to rent." trust me she is confused and hurt deeply, she just isn't showing it.
"sleeping seperately"
You keep the marital bed, she sleeps wherever.. A lot of people here just get weak and do whatever their walk-away wife says... This is a big point to show her you NEED to be RESPECTED. You keep the marital bed, she wants out.. sleep somewhere else then.. she wants to move...there is the door... She has to put on her big-girl panties and do the work, and accept the consequences. You do all this calmly and in a respectful manner.
